


Ten Interesting Facts about Castiel Novak

by thatwriterlady



Series: 30 Day Writing Challenge 2015 [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean is in love with Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Mention of abuse, Overcoming Obstacles, Psychological Trauma, Secrets, Self-Discovery, Self-Worth, Tender Dean, mention of bullying, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:57:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5179367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is given a topic for a paper in his Sociology class.  He has to come up with ten interesting facts about himself.  This is an issue because be doesn't think he is all that interesting.  He has some self-esteem issues stemming from trauma in his teen years, but the important people in his life are all convinced that he is amazing and interesting, so maybe he can find ten things...</p><p> </p><p>***SEE BEGINNING NOTES FOR TRIGGER WARNINGS***</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Interesting Facts about Castiel Novak

**Author's Note:**

> ***WARNING***
> 
> There is mention of extreme bullying, of attempted suicide, self-esteem issues, and abuse, but it's to help the story along. If these topics are too much to handle, turn away now. I will have other stories in this fic that will be easier to handle. Consider yourselves warned.

[](http://www.pizap.com/image/707476471pizapw1447102841.jpg)  
[](http://www.pizap.com/u/707476471) on [piZap.com](http://www.pizap.com)

 

 

**Ten Interesting Facts About Me (Castiel Novak)**

 

“Why are you pouting? Technically at twenty you are a grown man, and pouting is unbecoming.” Dean teased his roommate as he passed him on his way to his own desk. Cas looked up, his blue eyes full of misery.

“Remind me again, _why_ did I take a sociology course?” He knew he sounded whiney, but he didn’t care.

“For the same reason I did. Well, you have higher aspirations than me. I just want to be a guidance counselor, you plan to be the clinical psychiatrist.” Dean replied, as he pulled out the chair to his own desk and sat down. “Don’t tell me you’re getting all worked up over that paper we have to write. It’s not that bad.”

“Dean, I have to write ten interesting facts about myself. I’m not interesting!” Cas exclaimed, complete with a waving of his arms for added emphasis.

“Wait, what? I have to write a paper on what a matriarchal society would be like if men did not exist. You lucky bastard!” Dean cried.

“I would totally switch with you if I could, but I can’t. I’ll just have to lie.” Cas frowned at his computer screen. All he had written was the title, and added the bulletin points. 

“Cas, dude, you’re way interesting. If you weren’t would have I have roomed with you for the last three years?” Dean spun around in his chair to look at his friend.

“You think?” Cas wasn’t sure.

“Yes, I’m sure. I know what I think that makes you cool, but you need to figure out what you think makes you cool. We can compare notes when you finish the paper. While you’re checking mine for grammatical errors.” Dean grinned. Cas huffed out a short laugh.

“Your papers would get such low scores if you didn’t have me around.” 

“Hey, I want you around for more than fixing my mistakes. I mean, who else will willingly watch Dr. Sexy with me?” Dean’s grin grew wider. Cas rolled his eyes.

“I feel so appreciated.” He said dryly.

“Get working on your paper. If you’re following the same timeline I am, your paper’s due in two weeks, so tackle one thing each day for the next ten days, then take the last couple of days the go over any errors.” Dean told him. Cas nodded. He was right. Now all he had to do was think up something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Day One- Wednesday**

Cas was sitting in the café by the dorms waiting for his brother to show up like he did every Wednesday when he spotted a bunting land on the ground outside. It brought a smile to his face.

“You know, random smiling at nothing is a sign of mental illness.”

He looked up to see his brother sliding into the seat across from him.

“Oh, ha ha. I just saw a bunting land outside. I think I will get another lemon poppy seed muffin before I leave and share it with the birds.” Cas said, his gaze returning to the bird outside the window. He smiled wider when the bunting was joined by another one, and then several sparrows.

“So how are classes going?” Gabe asked. Cas rolled his eyes and finally looked at his brother.

“I have to write a paper about things that make me interesting.” 

“So? What’s the issue?” Gabe asked.

“I’m not interesting.” Cas complained.

“I beg to differ.” Gabe countered.

“You know, Dean said the same thing. He says I can find ten things easily. So far though I have nada.” Cas slumped in his seat, his eyes returning to the birds outside.

“You still rooming with that hottie? Did you make a move yet? Tell me you hit that!” Gabe waggled his eyebrows making his brother snort and purse his lips in an attempt not to smile.

“No, I most certainly did _not_ ‘hit that’, as you so eloquently put it.”

“Why not? The guy is gorgeous! And totally your type.” Gabe had sat down with a cup of coffee already in hand and he took a sip of it, looking at his younger brother over the rim.

“My type or not, he doesn’t know I’m gay. I’d rather keep it that way, thank you.” Cas replied.

Gabe frowned and set down his cup. “Cassie, no one is going to be cruel to you here. This isn’t high school anymore.”

Cas lowered his eyes to his own cup. He was too ashamed to meet his brother’s gaze.

“I-I know, but…” He shuddered just thinking about what had happened to him in high school. 

“Maybe you should start by telling a friend. Someone you trust. You’ll see that this isn’t the high school mentality anymore. You’re a year away from your undergraduate degree. There are gay people everywhere. No one is going to care.” Gabe insisted. Cas sighed. His brother was right. What had happened in high school…it was awful, but it was three long years ago. Nothing bad had happened since.

Then again, no one knew he was gay either. Not even his gay friends.

“I suppose I can tell Charlie.” 

“Good! She’s a lesbian, right? Would make her pretty hypocritical if she passed judgment on you for being gay. Plus the few time I met her, she seemed pretty chill. I think she’s a good choice.” Gabe took another sip of his coffee. “So, for something interesting about yourself? What about your conservation efforts? You’re an environmentalist working hard to save the bees. That’s pretty interesting.”

Cas considered that for a moment. That could possibly be construed as an interesting fact.

“Ok, I think I can work with that.”

“Good, one down, how many more to go?” His brother asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Interesting Facts About Me (By Castiel Novak)**

**Fact Number One:**

• I have been devoted to the conservation of several endangered species for years now. I helped initiate a plan in my hometown to stop the decrease of the bee population, and so far, for the past four years they have remained at a steady number. No decreases outside the normal range. I have assisted with numerous fund raisers on behalf of the rain forests, indigenous people of North, Central and South America, the Blackfooted Ferret, the Gulf Coast, and this summer I will be partaking in a 15k marathon to raise money to stop fracking in the Midwest.

Cas frowned at his bulletin. Obviously he had to elaborate more, but it was a good start. He could list each charity he was affiliate with and exactly what it was he did with them, and he had the award and statistics for his bee revitalization project. 

“Hey, Dean?”

Dean looked up from where he’d been typing away on his laptop. He slid his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes.

“Hmm?”

“How does this sound? Of course I’ll need to elaborate more, but, for the first one, I don’t think it’s too bad.” Cas slid his chair back as Dean got up and walked over to his desk. He waited for Dean to read it.

“That’s pretty neat. I know you’re keen on environmental issues, but I didn’t realize you were this cool.” Dean said as he stood up again.

“You…think that’s cool?” Cas was surprised and it showed.

“Of course. I care about the environment, Cas. You should know that after living with me this long.” Dean gave him a look before returning to his own desk.

“How’s your paper coming along?” Cas asked. Dean sighed as he slid his glasses back on.

“I think I need to do a rewrite. I basically just wrote about Amazonians.”

Cas laughed and turned back to his own computer. Maybe this paper wouldn’t be so bad after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Day Two- Thursday**

Cas checked his watch as he hurried across campus. He had psychology in less than five minutes and it was normally a seven minute walk under normal circumstances. Up ahead he saw a familiar head of red hair.

“Charlie!” 

She turned, spotting him and waving, slowing her pace only slightly until he caught up with her.

“So I’m not the only one running late, I see.” She laughed.

“I hit my alarm and shut it off, and then fell back asleep.” He admitted. The psych building came into view and they both picked up their pace.

“Hey, can you swing by my dorm tonight? I need to talk to you about something.” He said as they headed inside.

“Sure, want me to bring ice cream and movies?” She asked.

“Sounds good. Dean’s working tonight, so we’ll have the room to ourselves, which works for me.” He said as they climbed the stairs to the second floor.

“Geez Cas, if I wasn’t into chicks I’d say you were trying to do a Netflix and chill.” She teased. He grinned and shook his head.

“Oh shut up, we have one minute until we’re late.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas texted Charlie later that day to remind her about that night. Neither of them had classes the next day so they could stay up watching movies at least until Dean got home from the garage, but he slept like the dead, so if they stayed quiet once he went to bed, they could stay up and watch another movie. He just wanted to tell her and get it out of the way so they could enjoy the rest of the night. When he got back to his dorm he stopped short. Dean was standing in front of his bed, shirtless. He looked up at the sound of the door opening and smiled.

“Hey, how were your classes?” He asked. Cas was trying hard to not let Dean see him blush. He shut the door and headed for his own bed.

“They were ok. I’m having Charlie over tonight, I hope that’s ok.” He focused on sliding his book bag off his shoulder and taking off his coat instead of looking at the expanse of freckled skin that was currently standing on the other side of the room.

“Yeah, sure. I get off a little earlier today, so maybe I can watch one with you guys when I get back.” Dean said.

Cas turned to look at him, immediately regretting that decision when he saw Dean bent over, pulling his jeans on. He had to bite his lip to keep the whimper that was threatening to escape from passing his lips. 

“Uhhhh, yeah, maybe you can bring back some pizza?” He winced when his voice cracked. Dean stood up, pulling his jeans up and zipping them. He grabbed the tee shirt he had lying on the bed and put it on, seemingly oblivious to Cas’ embarrassment.

“Sure, the usual?” He asked, finally lifting his head to look at Cas. 

“Don’t forget Charlie’s vegan.” Cas reminded him. Dean saluted him as he grabbed his work shirt and shrugged it on. 

“I’ll see you tonight.” He said as he started for the door.

“See you.”

As the door closed behind Dean, Cas groaned and collapsed back on his bed.

“Traitor.” He muttered at his half hard dick. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Interesting Facts About Me (Castiel Novak)**

**Fact Number Two:**

• I know how to surf. 

Cas grimaced and dropped his head to his desk. How lame was that? It wasn’t like being able to surf determined who he was as a person. This paper was going to be awful, he could already tell. As he fretted over how to elaborate on that fact, there came a knock on his door.

“Come in!” He knew it was Charlie anyway.

“Sup biotch!” She greeted him as she walked in.

“Struggling with this stupid paper.” He grumbled, and then explained what it was he was writing.

“So let me get this right, this paper is interesting facts about you?” Charlie had kicked off her shoes and was sitting cross legged on the floor in front of Cas’ bed.

“Yep.” He replied.

“So what did you already come up with?” She asked.

“Just what my brother suggested. That I’m a conservationist. Oh, and that I can surf.” 

She looked up from where she’d been setting up her laptop. “That’s it? There are so many interesting things about you, Cas. What about your desire to help others? The fact that you can play three different instruments? Or that you can cook as well as Gordon Ramsey?”

“I do not cook as good as Ramsey. You’re just messing with me now.” He laughed as he sat down next to her. He had spooned the ice cream she’d brought into two bowls and he offered her one.

“You have a lot of wonderful qualities.” She insisted as she took her bowl.

“They don’t necessarily make me interesting though.” He argued.

“What did Dean say?” 

“He said pretty much the same thing as you and my brother, that I have a lot of interesting qualities.” He replied.

“Like?” She motioned for him to give examples.

“He won’t tell me. Says when I’m done writing my paper we’ll compare notes.” He huffed.

“Sounds like something he’d say.” She laughed. She took a bite of her ice cream and looked over at him. “So you got me here, and obviously you don’t plan to seduce me, so what did you want to talk about?”

He chuckled around a mouthful of ice cream, swallowing it so he could talk.

“Well, I trust you, so I wanted you to be the first friend I told this to.” He started saying. She lowered her bowl, setting it in her lap as she looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

“My brother says it would be good for me if I’m more open and honest with the people I trust.” He added. She gave him a soft smile.

“I’m glad you trust me. I trust you too with all of my secrets.” 

“Well, this is only a secret here. If I went back to my hometown, everyone knows, and that’s a big reason why I haven’t said a word to anyone here.” He lowered his eyes to his bowl, watching the ice cream sliding around as he poked it with his spoon.

“The suspense is killing me, are you a super hero or something? Are you secretly famous?” He knew she was joking and it helped ease some of his anxiety.

“I wish it was that simple. I’m…gay.” 

“Oh, is that all? You made it out be some big hype.” She waved him off and dug into her ice cream again.

“That’s it?” He asked.

“Would you like me to throw confetti? Host a parade? I know, for Christmas I’ll buy you a giant rainbow flag that you can wear as a cape and run around campus in.” She said dryly. 

“Oh ha ha. I guess it’s good that you’re not freaked out.” He shrugged and spooned some of the melting confection into his mouth.

“Dude, _I’m_ gay. Why would I freak out? I’d be a moron.” She scoffed.

“It’s kind of why I told you first.” He admitted.

“I figured. I’m safe. What about Dean? You can tell him too, you know.” She set her empty bowl aside and looked over at him.

“You don’t think he’d freak out?” 

The look on her face worried him. Either she thought he was nuts…or she thought he was a moron.

“You do know Dean’s not straight…right?” 

“What? He dated Lisa most of freshman year.” Clearly it was Charlie that was nuts.

“Dude, he swings around in a great big circle. He is _not straight_.” She said.

He stared at her, unbelieving. No way! He had lived with Dean for three years now. If they guy wasn’t straight he would know it! 

Right?

Now he was doubting himself.

Cas frowned. “How do you know this?”

“He told me. Dean and I are friends too, you know.”

Cas was numb. This was taking the neat, organized little world he lived in and blowing it all to hell. 

“So…what is he if he’s not straight? He’s not gay, that much I know.” He said after several minutes. When he looked down his bowl was gone. Looking over at Charlie he saw her finishing off the last few bites.

“I think he’s pansexual? It’s about personality more than looks for him, but I know who he’s had a secret crush on since the first day of school.” She winked at him, giggling at his look of confusion.

“You mean even when he was dating Lisa?” He asked. 

“Oh, he and Lisa weren’t serious. That was casual dating. They didn’t call one another boyfriend and girlfriend. When she got a serious boyfriend they cooled things, and when she tried earlier this year to start things up again with Dean, he told her no. He’s sort of outgrown the casual thing.” She replied. 

“I didn’t realize…” 

“You were absorbed in your classes, trying to keep your head above water freshman year. We all knew that. Hey, why are you keeping your orientation under such a lock down here? Did something bad happen back home?” She asked.

“Yes. A boy had a crush on me my freshman year of high school. Somehow he figured out I was gay but I wasn’t interested in him the way he was in me. He was pushy and practically stalking me, and when he asked me out I said no. I wasn’t out, we lived in a town that put a lot of stigma on gays and I wanted to just survive high school and get out of there, you know? I wanted to avoid the bullying and the torment that I’d seen people do to other gays in the area. But that prick, he was mad that I wouldn’t go out with him. So…he outed me, at an assembly. In front of the entire faculty and student body. He told everyone he was straight and that I had come on to him, propositioned him.” Cas hung his head in shame, shutting his eyes tight against the memory. 

“What an asshole!” She pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back soothingly. He slowly relaxed into her embrace.

“Four years. For four, long years I got slammed into lockers, got food and drinks thrown at me, got attacked in the locker rooms, alienated…I was even assaulted once by the boys on the baseball team. They made up horrible posters, put them up all over school. The posters said I’d suck cock for free, or that I bend over for any dick, stuff like that. My named was written across the bathroom walls, with my phone number. My parents had to change my number six times because I was getting harassing texts and calls at all hours of the day and night. I can’t tell you how many times I got beaten up. In December of my senior year I finally snapped.” Cas sat back and held out one hand. She looked down at the leather cuffs he always wore, suddenly realizing what was hiding beneath them.

“Oh, honey…” Her eyes welled up with tears as he unsnapped one of the cuffs and showered her the thin, white scar on his wrist.

“I honestly didn’t know kids could be so cruel. I just…wanted to die. Death sounded like a relief compared to what they were putting me through on a daily basis. My dad found me in the bathtub and called 911. I went away for a few months and when I got out, I was allowed to finish my classes at home. I never went back. That doesn’t mean the tormenting ended though. My parents house got egged at least four times, someone spray painted the word faggot on the garage door, and I heard the whispers and insults as I walked down the streets. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. After I came here, my parents' sold the house and moved away. I will never go back there.” He was just snapping the cuff back in place when the door opened and Dean walked in. 

“Help?” He was precariously balancing three pizzas in one hand and two bottles of soda in the other as he tried to kick the door shut. Cas jumped up and grabbed the bottles of soda before he dropped them.

“You’re home really early.” Cas said as he set the bottles on Dean’s desk.

“It was slow so Ernie told me to go. Hey, it means pizza and movies, and I’m all for that!” Dean had shut the door and moved over to his bed to set the pizzas down. “What did I miss?” 

“Nothing as far as movies go. Cas and I have been talking.” Charlie replied. Dean shrugged out of his work shirt but left the tee shirt on.

“Oh yeah? About what?”

Charlie looked over at Cas. “He doesn’t bite. Dean won’t treat you like a piece of dirt.” She said softly.

“I know that.” He hissed through clenched teeth.

Dean kicked off his boots and sat down on the other side of Cas who had resumed his spot next to Charlie on the floor.

“Dude, were you crying? Are you ok?” There was concern in Dean’s voice and he was leaning forward to get a better look at Cas’ face. “Who fucked with you? I’ll kick their ass.” He growled. 

“No one. At least, not in a long time.” Cas replied. Dean sat back against the bed.

“So what has you upset?”

“We were talking about bullying. I didn’t get to tell Cas my story yet.” Charlie said. 

“Your story? You were bullied?” Cas asked, surprised.

“I was. In fact, do you see these?” She tapped against front teeth. He nodded. “I got these knocked down my throat my sophomore year when I was outed. I didn’t come out on my own willingly. This asshole in my Biology class saw me on a date with this girl Beth and came to school the following Monday and told everyone. I got called a few choice names. A couple of football players decided to use me for a punching bag one day afterschool, though to be honest, I did snap back with some pretty wicked insults when they decided to pick on me first. What can I say? I can’t control the sarcasm.” She grinned.

“Was it bad? Did it last the rest of high school?” Cas asked.

“Yes and no. I have a mouth on me, like you guys didn’t already know that, and I put more than a few would be bullies in their place. Aside from a broken wrist and the teeth, I survived high school pretty much intact.” She replied.

“Why are you guys talking about this anyway? Are you just swapping high school bullying stories or is there more to it?” Dean asked, his gaze lingering on Cas until the other boy looked up at him.

“I haven’t told you much about my life before I came here.” Cas said, carefully choosing his words.

“Yeah, well, you said it was pretty bad and I didn’t want to pry.” Dean glanced over at Charlie who had reached over and was holding Cas’ hand, squeezing it gently.

“It was awful. I-I tried to kill myself my senior year of high school, it got so bad that I thought it would be easier if I just died. No more swirlies, no more getting shoved in lockers, or tripped, or any myriad of other things that the other kids thought was perfectly ok to do to me.” Cas was looking down at the leather cuff on his free hand and Dean followed his gaze. Without asking he reached over and lifted Cas’ hand up, unsnapping the cuff.

“Cas…” He could hear the pain in the other boy’s voice as he traced the scar along Cas’ wrist with one gentle finger. “Why? What was so horrible that they wouldn’t let you live in peace? You’re so awesome, I can’t imagine anyone not liking you.” Dean was still holding Cas’ hand when he looked up, his green eyes seeking out Cas’ own blue ones.

“Well, if you really must know, I was outed against my will my freshman year. In front of the entire student body and faculty. I spent the rest of my high school career being tormented until…” Cas motioned towards his wrist. A moment later he found himself being wrapped up in strong arms and hugged tight. Dean had hugged him before but it had always been quick, friendly. Never like this. Slowly he raised his own arms and hugged the other man back.

“It’s a good thing I wasn’t at your school, I’d have probably kicked the shit out of every last one of them. I have zero tolerance for discrimination and bullying.” Dean murmured softly against his ear.

“Thank you, Dean. Several years of therapy and getting as far away from that shithole as humanly possible has gone a long way towards helping me to heal.” Cas said when Dean finally released him.

“So what’s with Outfest 2015 anyway? Any particular reason?” Dean asked.

Cas shrugged. “My brother and I got to talking about that stupid paper I’m writing and he told me the same thing both of you did, that I’m a great guy, and I’m interesting, and I have a lot to offer, and that I don’t have to hide anymore. He told me to tell someone I trusted my biggest secret, so…I asked Charlie to come over.” Cas admitted.

“I’m safe cause I’m gay too.” She clarified.

“Yeah, I figured as much.” Dean said to her before looking at Cas again. “Did you think I’d be an asshole to you? I could never, Cas. You have to know that.” 

“Yes, I do know that.” Cas nodded.

“And I’m not straight either, did you know that?” Dean asked.

“Not until Charlie mentioned it about twenty minutes ago.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah, well, people are beautiful. Mostly. What can I say?” 

“You’ll have to explain whatever pansexual means later. Right now, I really want pizza.” Cas said. Dean crawled the few feet to his bed and grabbed the boxes. He handed the top one to Charlie before opening one of the others. Cas reached into the box and pulled out a slice.

“Oh…and it’s still hot…” Cas groaned as he bit into it.

“I know you like it right out of the oven so I called ahead to make sure they had freshly made ones.” Dean told him.

“Thank you, Dean. I appreciate that.” 

“So, what is the movie plan for tonight?” Dean asked after clearing off three slices.

“I brought a couple of new movies.” Charlie said.

“Pop one in.” Dean urged. He stretched out next to Cas, laying one arm across the bed and leaning closer so he could hear the movie once it started. So many times before they had sat just like this, the three of them, but tonight Cas was hyper aware of Dean, how he had his body pressed up against Cas’, and how the arm that was so casually draped across his bed was fiddling unconsciously with the blanket, and how good Dean smelled; like a mixture of detergent, car oil, and what Cas had come to think of as just ‘ _Dean’s scent_ ’. It was pleasant, and by the start of the second movie, with a cup of soda in hand, he found himself leaning against his roommate. Before the second movie was even over, he was asleep, his head resting on Dean’s chest. When the credits started to roll Charlie looked over, smiling.

“He’s so cute when he sleeps.” She whispered.

“He’s been out for a while now.” Dean whispered back.

“I should go.” She closed the laptop and got to her feet.

“I have one class tomorrow at noon. You want to come over and finish the last one? I’m sure Cas will want to see the rest of that second one.” He hadn’t moved for fear of waking the sleeping man.

“You sure you want me here? I can leave the movies.” She quirked an eyebrow and grinned. Dean ducked his head as his cheeks began to burn.

“Charlie!” He hissed.

“Oh, don’t even tell me you don’t like the position you’re in right now. I know how crazy you’ve been about him for years now.” She gathered up the dirty dishes and started for the bathroom.

“So what? It’s not mutual. I…suspected, with the way he looks at me sometimes, but I couldn’t get a reaction out of him, so I know he doesn’t like me like that.” 

Charlie came out of the bathroom and looked down at her friends.

“You’re as unobservant then as he is. It’s your senior year. In a few months he’s going to walk out of your life for good, and then what? You’ll be a miserable, sorry wretch, crying on my shoulder about how you loved him and should have told him.”

She was whispering but still Cas stirred, moaning softly in his sleep as he nestled in closer.

“Dean…” He murmured.

“Oh yeah, cause that’s _totally_ platonic.” She rolled her eyes as she grabbed her shoes and sat down on Dean’s bed to put them on.

“Those nightmares he has, do you think they stem from the bullying?” Dean asked.

“I’d bet my last dollar on it.” She replied. Taking advantage of the fact that Cas was asleep, Dean brought hand up run his fingers through the sleeping man’s hair.

“I always wanted to know if it was as soft as it looked.” He said more to himself than to Charlie.

“You have it so bad, Winchester. Just fess up already.” She stood up, grabbing her laptop and jacket.

“I’ll see you later, Red.” He said.

“Text me if you finally have that revelation.” She winked and then she was gone, closing the door softly behind her. Dean was alone now with his hot roommate asleep and leaning against him. With a sigh he worked his way out from under Cas and managed to scoop him up. 

“What’s going on?!” Cas’ eyes flew open and he grabbed on to Dean’s shirt as he felt himself being lifted up.

“Shh, you fell asleep. I’m just…tucking you in.” Dean lowered his head so Cas wouldn’t see how hard he was blushing. He pushed the blankets back and laid Cas down. Those blue eyes were watching him carefully now and the gaze was making him uncomfortable. It was as though Cas were trying to figure him out and couldn’t quite do it.

“Dean?” Cas asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“You could have just woken me up.”

“You looked so peaceful. It’s not often I see you look like that.” Dean met his gaze but Cas looked away.

“Do I wake you often with my nightmares?” He asked.

“No anymore. It was bad the first year. I wondered what was causing them. Guess now I know. It’s not right though, what they did. You don’t ever have to worry about Charlie or me.” Dean placed a warm hand on Cas’ shoulder and he turned to look up again.

“I know. But maybe now you see why I don’t think of myself as interesting.” 

“I will politely disagree. Get some sleep, we can talk tomorrow.” Dean gave his shoulder a squeeze before leaving for the bathroom. Cas laid there a few more minutes, thinking before sleep enveloped him once more. By the time Dean came out of the bathroom he was asleep again.

“I wish I could tell you.” He whispered, more to himself than anything as he headed to his own bed. He wished he’d been able to tell his own secret tonight. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Day Three- Friday  
Interesting Facts About Me (Castiel Novak)**

**Fact Number Three:**

• I am a suicide survivor. In 2011 I was bullied so bad in my school that I didn’t feel there was any way out. It was an act of absolute desperation, and I am glad that I survived. I am no longer bullied and my life is good. 

He bit down on his lower lip as he typed that out. He knew the professor wouldn’t ask him the details, he had too much class. All he could hope was that his classmates wouldn’t press him for details.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Day Four- Saturday**

“Cas.”

He moaned and burrowed further into his blankets.

“Cas, your mom is on the phone.” 

With a whine he rolled onto his back and slowly blinked his eyes open.

“What?”

Dean was holding out his phone and what he had just said slowly began to pierce through the fog of sleep. He squinted at the alarm clock and groaned. It wasn’t even nine yet. And it was a Saturday!” He took the phone and put it to his ear.

“Hi mom, why are you calling so early? Weekends are the only-” 

Dean had already gotten most of the way back to his own bed when he heard Cas gasp. He turned around to see Cas sitting up in bed, a shocked expression on his face. 

“You ok?” He mouthed the words as he returned to Cas’ side of the room. Cas motioned for him to sit on the bed, so he lowered himself down and waited. He tried not to eavesdrop but Cas was mostly just listening to his mother talk anyway. When they hung up he saw the tears welling up in those blue eyes.

“What’s the matter? Hey, don’t cry.” Dean moved closer, hugging Cas as he began to openly sob.

“My grandpa died.” Cas choked out the words as he clung tightly to his friend.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean said softly.

“N-no, it’s not…” Cas shuddered as another sob wracked his body. Dean held him a little tighter when he felt him begin to tremble.

“He was old, we knew he didn’t have much longer. T-they’re holding the wake and funeral back home. My mom expects me to be there.”

Dean understood his terror. Cas had sworn never to return to his hometown. It held the worst memories of his life, and the worst people he had ever known. He was terrified at the prospect of having to see even a single one of them ever again.

“They can’t hurt you anymore, Cas. Hey, it’s ok. I-I’ll go with you, ok? You don’t have to go alone. Anyone tries to mess with you or say anything, I’ll put them in their place real quick.” He rubbed gently at Cas’ back until the man stopped trembling and the tears began to subside.

“You would do that for me?” Cas asked. He still had his arms around Dean’s waist and his head resting on the man’s chest.

“Yes, I would. Seeing you like this, it’s terrifying, and knowing some of those assholes might be around to try and harass you? There’s no way I’d let them near you.” Dean was prepared to kick ass if need be. He wouldn’t let them hurt Cas.

“Thank you.” Cas whispered. 

They sat there a while longer and as Cas’ head grew heavy, Dean knew he had fallen back asleep. When he tried to lay the man back down though, Cas whimpered in his sleep and clung tighter to Dean’s shirt. Dean liked the closeness. He wanted to be something more than just a roommate and a friend, and for just a little while he wanted to pretend Cas wanted him in the same way he wanted Cas. A second attempt to get Cas to let go seemed to trigger a nightmare as the man began to sob in his sleep, begging someone to stop, pleading with them not to hurt him. Dean was still tired and wanted to get at least another hour of sleep but that wasn’t going to happen with Cas like this. He made a decision. Carefully he moved further up on the bed and bringing Cas down with him, he laid back against the pillows. Right away Cas moved closer, burying his face against Dean’s chest. It made his heart ache. Cas was the strongest person he knew, yet he was so incredibly vulnerable at the same time. He pulled the blankets over his own legs and wrapped his arms around Cas protectively. The nightmare seemed to have faded and Cas was calm once more. Dean felt his own eyelids growing heavy and slowly he slipped back into sleep. It was the best slumber he’d had since he’d come to this school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but as Cas slowly rose from the most peaceful sleep he’d experienced in years, he felt safe, protected, and it brought a smile to his face. When he tried to move he realized he was being held down. Well, not so much held down as just…held. Tilting his head back he saw Dean lying beside him, sound asleep. He didn’t remember Dean lying down with him, but then again he didn’t even remember falling back asleep. This was nice though, lying here in Dean’s arms, and he snuggled closer. If it bothered Dean, he’d say something or he’d leave. Cas was sure of that. 

“Mmm, you awake?” Dean mumbled. Cas froze. The calming moment was ruined, he was sure of it. Dean would leave, go back to his own bed, or go somewhere that wasn’t Cas’ bed.

“Just woke up.” Cas replied, his voice still thick with sleep. He waited, expecting Dean to just get up and go, but instead he sighed and pulled Cas against him. 

“You’re so warm.” Dean murmured. 

“I run hotter than most people. My brother used to stick his icy feet under my thighs in the winter when he would get cold.” Cas said. Dean snorted.

“See? There’s another fact for your paper.”

“Lots of people run at a higher body temp.” Cas pointed out.

“I’m sure they’re not this toasty warm though.” Dean pulled Cas even closer, sighing contentedly. “If I’d have known you were this warm I’d have crawled into your bed this past winter when the heater went out and we were freezing.”

“Even I was cold last winter.” Cas said lamely. They laid there a while longer and he could feel that Dean was starting to drift off again but he wanted to know what the heck was going on between them.

“Dean?” His voice was barely above a whisper but he was scared. Dean groaned and slowly forced his eyes open.

“Yeah?” 

“W-what is this? I…like it, but I’m confused.” He didn’t move. 

“I, um, I…care about you.” Dean replied. The way he stumbled over his words and hesitated told Cas he was scared.

“You care about me?”

Dean tensed and Cas snuggled in closer, urging him to relax again.

“Like, as more than just friends?”

Dean started to pull away but Cas latched on to the front of his shirt and pulled him close again.

“Yeah, ok? I’m sorry, I know we’re just friends but…”

“I like you too, Dean. I have for a long time. I just…I haven’t ever dated. Dating is terrifying to me.” Cas admitted. Dean’s arms slipped around him again.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s everyone else.” Cas rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. Dean propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at him.

“You’re not back there, Cas. You’re here, with me, with your friends, and no one is going to treat you poorly because you’re gay. Anyone that even thinks of trying to harass you will have to go through me.”

Cas smiled and looked over at him. “I appreciate that, but I can take care of myself.”

“Have you, you know…ever been with anyone?” Dean asked. Cas blushed and bit down on his lower lip as he shook his head.

“If you mean sex, no. I sort of had a boyfriend freshman year, but I scared him away with my neurosis. I wouldn’t step out in public with him and he wanted to introduce me to his friends and stuff. I wasn’t ready for that. That was my big venture into the dating world, and it lasted exactly three weeks. I didn’t try again.”

“Well, lucky for you, you already know all of my friends, and you’ve met my family already. I don’t want to force anything on you Cas. But, if I have to be honest, I’ve been in love with you for ages now. I thought all this time that I didn’t have a chance, that you were straight, so I didn’t say or do anything, but then you told Charlie the other night, and I wanted so badly to tell you how I felt. I was scared though.” Dean turned onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow. He’d embarrassed himself enough for a lifetime in the last five minutes. A warm weight on his back a few seconds later startled him and he jumped. He lifted his head to see Cas had turned on his side to face him, and had placed his hand on his back.

“Did you say you’re in love with me?”

“Yeah, Cas. I did.”

Cas didn’t know what to do with that information. It was a lot to process. He cared about Dean, probably deeper than one should for someone that was just a friend, but was it love? 

“I’m broken, Dean. You can’t possibly want me.” Was what he ended up saying. Dean sat up quickly, shaking his head vehemently.

“No, you are not. You experienced trauma at the hands of ignorant people but they did not destroy you or your spirit. Sure, maybe you have some issues stemming from it all, but we all have issues. I should be a mess considering the upbringing I had. So should my brother, but we both were determined to do better, to make something of ourselves, and we are. That’s what you’re doing too. If I’m putting too much on you, I will understand and I will back off. I just wanted you to know how I feel.”

“Can you just hold me a little while longer?” Cas asked. Dean smiled and nodded, sliding back down to lay his head against the pillow. He opened up his arms and Cas moved into the embrace. It felt better than he ever could have hoped to be held like this, mostly because it was Dean that was on the giving end. His mind was still reeling from the idea that Dean wanted him. 

What he needed to figure out was whether he would be able to handle being in a relationship. The quiet, alone time was something he thought he could handle, but going out in public as a couple? It caused him anxiety just thinking about it.

“So…” 

“Hmm?” Dean asked. He’d been dozing off again but shook it off when Cas spoke.

“What exactly do you want from me? Like where do you see us? Are you talking about dating? Or something more casual, because I don’t want casual. I’m scared to date, I’ve told you that already but…I can try.” Cas said.

“I don’t want casual, Cas. I want you, issues and all. If you’ll have me, that is.” Dean moved closer, hesitating when Cas froze in his arms. He paused, waiting until Cas relaxed again.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. Cas’ blue eyes grew as wide as saucers as he slowly nodded.

“I’ve never…” Cas winced. He felt woefully stunted in all romantic matters.

“Not even what’s his face?” Dean asked.

“He tried, but…he didn’t move slow, and he didn’t ask. He just thought he could do whatever he wanted.” Cas explained. 

“I will move as slow as you need me to, ok? I’m not in any hurry. It’s important to me for you to be comfortable.” Dean moved closer, his lips mere inches from Cas’ own. And God did Cas want to kiss him. He was scared, yet he still wanted it. He wanted Dean. 

Before he could overthink the situation and talk himself out of it, he surged forward to press his lips to Dean’s. It was soft, gentle, and Dean allowed him to set the pace, keeping it as chaste as . He pressed tiny kisses to the corner of Cas’ mouth, making the other man smile.

“What are you doing?” Cas asked.

“This is how I am, Cas. I want to take care of you, but mostly I just want to kiss you right now. No expectations, just kisses. Doesn’t even have to be anything intense.” Dean said softly as he continued what he was doing. He kissed Cas’ jaw, his cheek, his neck, making Cas smile a little wider with each one.

“I think my therapist will be proud of me.” Cas said softly. Dean lifted his head to look at him.

“You’re still in therapy? I think that’s good. He, or she will see this as a breakthrough. I know, I went through several years of therapy during high school. You met Ellen and Bobby, they practically raised Sam and me after we were taken away from our dad. You’ve never met him and God willing, you never will. What you went through in school and your hometown for being gay? I went through in my own home. My brother got mad at me for some stupid shit when we were kids, and like all small kids, he was a tattle tale. Outed me to our dad one Sunday afternoon because I wouldn’t let him watch cartoons. I had a secret boyfriend at the time, and I knew I couldn’t tell my dad about him because he hated anyone that wasn’t perfectly straight. My dad called him a liar, didn’t believe him, but Sam was a dick. He was like ten at the time and seriously thought the worst that would happen was that I’d get a whoopin’ and then life would go on. But it didn’t. He produced details, even as I pleaded with him to shut up, and my dad figured out he was telling the truth. He flipped and took out all of his rage on me. I couldn’t walk for a week, he had to call me in to school. I held fast to the belief that he was wrong, that there was nothing wrong with loving another boy and wanting to be with them, and I tried so hard to ignore the cruel insults he threw at me. His first order of business was to force me to dump my boyfriend.” Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes before he continued.

“The beatings escalated until I relented and broke it off. But the abuse continued. He stopped using my name and would just call me one of many cruel insults. Sam, he apologized profusely to me. Sometimes still does. He carries a lot of guilt for all of it, even though I tell him it’s not his fault. He never tattled on me for anything again after that either. Anyway, it got worse, and then Ellen started noticing the bruises. One day when my dad had dropped us off for her and Bobby to watch while he went out of town for a few days, she cornered me in her kitchen when she saw me favoring my left side. Forced me to show her my ribs. I was a canvas of bruises. They were just everywhere, and unbeknownst to me, I had three broken ribs, that’s why I was in so much pain. She made Bobby pack me up and we headed to the ER. They documented every bruise, every scar, and made me tell them in excruciating detail what my dad had done to me, and then why he had done it. It was humiliating and embarrassing. The cops hunted my father down and tossed his ass in jail. Child Services stepped in and were going to put us in foster care but Bobby wouldn’t let them. He’s my dad’s half-brother, so since he’s family, they let him and Ellen keep us. Bobby went to court and got my dad’s parental rights stripped from him and six months later he and Ellen adopted us. My dad served eighteen months and was released. He apparently “found religion” while he was in jail and tried to come talk to me and Sammy, but we wanted nothing to do with him. So he left. Last I heard, he has a girlfriend and a kid. Another little boy. I figured out where he was living and called his girlfriend up one day and told her what he had done to me, and why we were taken away from him. I wanted my little brother to be safe, you know? It messed me up for a long time, what he had done, but Ellen put me in therapy. Sam too since he witnessed a lot of the beatings, and took a few himself in trying to protect me, and it really helped. So I get why you need a therapist. They help a lot. And I know the steps it takes to heal from that kind of damage.”

“You never told me it was that bad when you were a child. I’m so sorry, Dean. Getting abused by strangers was bad enough. I couldn’t imagine what my life would have been like if my parents were doing it too.” Cas brought a hand up to gently caress Dean’s cheek. He smiled as the other man leaned into his touch.

 

“I learned something very important in therapy. That my father’s reaction was not my fault but the result of his own fears and misconceptions. I guess my dad thought that if I slept with men, I’d suddenly be running around the house in makeup and dresses playing Suzie Homemaker. He didn’t understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender, and believes that one directly influences the other. Easy way of saying my dad thought I’d suddenly grow a vagina if I got involved with men. Ellen and Bobby were the complete opposite. They have told me since I was little that I am perfect the way I am, and that there’s nothing wrong with me. I had to learn to listen to them instead of my dad. I’m in a good place now, and I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t think of my dad when I find men attractive and worry about how he would react, or what he might do to me if he found out. He’s part of my past. I’ve moved on. You can do that too. I’m sure the people you knew then, some of them were deep in the closet, terrified of what others would think of them, so it was easier to join up with the real bullies and deflect. And others I’m sure regret what they did to you. You can’t hold on to all that fear and anger for the rest of your life or it will eat at you.”

“I know. I’m better, I promise.” Cas said.

“Why don’t we try something small today? I’m starving, and I would really like to start this off right and take you on a real date. Will you let me do that? I’m not asking to like, suck your face in public, but maybe I could hold your hand? We’ve gone out to eat before, but as friends. This time I’m asking permission to touch you. All on your terms of course.” Dean looked at him with so much hope in his eyes and Cas knew he was right. He had to learn to let his past go and move on. He could do this.

“O-ok. It’s early though, did you want to go out for breakfast?” He asked.

“Yes. Your pick.” Dean threw back the covers and got up from the bed. Cas got up too, heading for the bathroom.

“Let’s go to our usual spot.” He said as he ducked into the bathroom and closed the door.

“The diner it is.” Dean grinned to himself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breakfast in public turned out to be extremely anticlimactic, and no one even glanced at them when Dean took his hand as they walked out of their dorm. There were no looks of disgust or slurs thrown in their direction, so by the time they got to the diner, Cas had relaxed completely. They ate breakfast and after a walk around campus, their hands firmly clasped together, they went back to their room. They both had a paper to finish after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Interesting Facts About Me (By Castiel Novak)**

**Fact Number Four:**

• I took cooking classes with my mother in high school so she didn’t have to attend them alone, and as a result I have near chef level cooking skills. My favorite dish to make is still a simple one; lasagna, though I make it with six different cheeses, and everyone devours it when I make it. I enjoy cooking too, it’s relaxing.

Cas looked over the bulletins again for his paper. It was coming along nicer than he had expected.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Day Five- Sunday**

Cas was sitting at his desk, typing away on his laptop when Dean walked through the door with coffee and a small paper bag. He set one of the coffee cups on Cas’ desk and the bag. 

“What are you writing? Still working on the Sociology paper?” Dean asked.

“I am, but it’s coming along very nicely.” Cas replied. Dean came up behind his chair and leaned down to kiss his neck. It made him shiver but he turned around, a shy smile on his face.

“I think I have a fifth one. I just hope this paper doesn’t sound ridiculous to the teacher.”

“Then add it. Who cares if the teacher thinks they’re ridiculous. If you think they make you interesting, then they’re valid.” Dean moved to his own desk and sat down. As he powered up his laptop he spun his chair around to look at Cas.

“You’re right. I’ll add the next one now. And maybe a couple more too since Charlie gave me some ideas.”

Cas turned around in his chair and started typing away again.

**Interesting Facts About Me (By Castiel Novak)**

**Fact Number Five:**

• I have run in three marathons with my brother Gabe. The longest one was 10k. I have another one I am training for now.

Cas thought for a moment. Maybe he really could just finish up the facts now and be done with it.

**Fact Number Six:**

• I can speak three languages fluently: English, Russian, and German. English was not my first language, Russian was. My father is a Russian immigrant and my mother learned to speak it in order to communicate with him in his native tongue. That’s what they spoke to me growing up. I didn’t start speaking English until I started Kindergarten.

**Fact Number Seven:**

• I can play four instruments. My father insisted on studying and learning multiple languages as well as multiple instruments. I can play the piano, the violin, and the guitar.

**Fact Number Eight:**

• I want to be a psychiatrist so that I can help others that are going through the same issues that I had to deal with when I was in high school. Bullying needs to stop.

Fact Number Nine:

• I am double jointed. I can fold myself in half and move in ways that would frighten most people. It’s something that is common on my mother’s side of the family. She is double jointed too.

**Fact Number Ten:**

• My IQ is 166. I have eidetic memory. That is more of a burden than a blessing, I think. There are things I wish I could forget, like the bullying, but I can’t.

“Dean! I finished the facts! Now all I have to do is elaborate on each one and I’m done!” He exclaimed. Dean had been typing away at his computer but he stopped and dragged his chair over to Cas’ desk to look at the computer. He read each bulletin, his eyebrow raising at some of them.

“Wow, a lot of this I didn’t know. And see? You thought you weren’t interesting but dude, you’re amazing!” He looked up at Cas with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Are you really double jointed?” 

Cas laughed and stood up. Without answering he moved to the center of the room and leaned back until his hands were on the floor. Slowly he dropped to his knees and reaching back, he grabbed his ankles, tucking his head against his own back until he had folded himself in half. He held that pose for a few seconds before releasing his ankles and sitting up again. He brought one leg up and behind his own head, then he brought up the other leg. Lowering his head, folded in on himself again. When he finally got up from the floor there was a hungry look in Dean’s eyes.

“Down Tiger, I’m flexible in ways you could only imagine, but I’m not ready yet for you to take advantage of the fact.” He laughed as he sat down in his chair again.

“I’m a patient man. Besides, it gives me time to think of all the ways I can benefit from that.” Dean said with a chuckle.

“Hmm, one day you’ll have to fill me in on all the different ways in which you can move.” He said.

“Better yet, I think I’ll just let you figure it out for yourself.” Cas teased. He wasn’t ready for sex yet, but when he finally was, he was going to make sure he rocked Dean’s world.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me longer than expected to come up with ten interesting facts. I know this story might seem to leave a lot out, but this was never intended to be one of my full fics. Maybe later I can come back and turn it into something more, but for now, it is staying part of the 30 Day Challenge, and those that read it, I hope you liked it.
> 
> Leave a kudos and a comment, I love communicating with you all!


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